I wanna be dirty like Betty White,
only without having to go through
the sexless Golden Girls decade.
I wanna be all “you go girl!” like Oprah,
only those rumors about me and my friend Gail?
– They’ll be true.
I wanna be clean and neat like my sister,
only with the top THREE buttons
of my Oxford undone.
And I also wanna be all New York Fierce
like my sister,
only more hippy, but just as fierce.
But mostly, I wanna be love love love,
unconditional love like grandma,
only happy and unconditional
without a doormat out front.