I have a story that sometimes my take on reality doesn’t align with others. Sometimes it’s just a very different memory of what words were said; sometimes it’s remembering meeting someone in one place or time, while they remember the meeting in a slightly different place or time; sometimes it is about having a completely different take on the emotional context of an interaction. I expect this is a universal experience, and I’m curious about what other folks do when they have this experience.
For me, a common strategy is to request validation or reality checking; I am trained as a scientist, and the inquiry process is important to me. When my understanding of reality is divergent with the “common” or at least an “other” view, I like to ask my partner, family, or co-observer(s) this fundamental questions:
IS THERE TRUTH TO MY OBSERVATION AND UNDERSTANDING OF THIS REALITY?
In a more simplistic way, the question is:
IS THIS TRUE?
Again, my story is that the answers I have gotten often in the past, at least the ones I am coming to realize I have most deeply internalized are three pretty cumbersome answers:
- No, that’s not true.
- I don’t want to talk about it
- What the hell is wrong with you?
Now, I’m certain I’ve gotten lots and lots of other good answers, but these three stones are the ones I’ve let most deeply into my heart, and they are the ones I use to beat myself with when I am in my quietest self reflection and I ask MYSELF “Is this true?” Here is a certainty: this is not a useful conversation to have with myself. And, I love myself unconditionally, so I am ready for a broader spectrum of answers to my question.
Luckily, my life is filled with beautiful people who also like to answer and ask all sorts of questions, with whom I have discovered and have witnessed so many other answer choices. So here are some other possible answers that I like, and I love that most of them are questions. And I am enjoying the process of internalizing these, and also sharing them with you. I welcome additional contributions to this list!
So, the question is: IS THIS TRUE?
Frankly, I think this would work with any question.
And here are some PRIME CHOICE ANSWERS:
- That is a beautiful question.
- I don’t know.
- I don’t know, yet.
- What’s the evidence?
- It is not my understanding of truth, but I believe you.
- What does your mind believe?
- What does your heart say?
- How does your body feel about it?
- What does your intuition know?
- Is your truth coming from spirit?
- Are you sure that is the right question?
- What is under that question?
- Do you know why you are asking that question?
- What is your deepest need?
- I have no answer, but I am curious about how can I be of service to you in your exploration of your answer?