45 Things

Some people like to make to do lists. I used to be one of them. That list was filled with stuff I should do, or felt compelled to do, sometimes stuff that I enjoy, each list imbued with some kind of vague promise that AFTER the list was “done”, the reward would be some kind of arriving at satisfaction, meaning, or ease.

At some point, I slipped these three things onto my to do list: yoga, meditation, and loving with my whole being. Since then, somehow the to do lists just keep getting shorter and shorter. Some days, this is the whole list:

breathe.

Those are the days most filled with life and wonder.  Those are the days where, when the good moments happen, I actually notice. So today, I’m not making a To Do list. I’m making a Ta Da list – a personal accounting of the most important ways I’ve already learned to feel satisfaction, meaning and ease. Every thing on the list is love.

Today’s Ta Da list:

Mom love (I’m pretty sure she was first)
Dad love (And him immediately after)
Grandma love (I don’t remember, but she was probably next)
Sister love (The most constant thing, there every day of my life)
Brother love (So blessed)
Being part of the continuum love
Blended family love
I love you and would even if we weren’t family love
Romantic love
Mom love (this time, from the other side)
Love even when it gets tricky love
Self love (my biggest obstacle)
God love (my biggest surprise)
Sweet sweet eros love
Loving men love
Loving women love
Oh, forget the labels, loving being loved love
Student love
Teacher love
– Being in community love
– Room of Love love
Loving to learn love
Learning that play is learning love
Art is love Love
And so is dance love
Chaos love (that one’s easy for me)
Stillness love (not as easy)
Gratitude (yup, that’s love)
Self love (I know I already said that)
Love is a verb love
Learning to receive love
Letting go of self love (aaah)
Forgiveness (yup, that’s love too)
Which isn’t the same as not loving myself love
Loving the content love
Loving the process love
Having no fucking clue love
Those tiny flickers of truth love
I have too much to say love
I have nothing to say love
I might have something to say love
Love that feels like cozy shelter love
Love that breaks you open bare love
Unconditional love
Undefended love

BeforeandAfter_403

One thought on “45 Things

  1. Wow, you have an amazing articulate thoughtful evolved and spiritual handle on love! I guess that’s cuz you are love. Thanks for sharing this. 🙂

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