Love letter to my penpal

I’d like to hear more about how I annoy you.

I have shared myself, and over-shared myself
delighting in using you as my muse.
And wonder if it sometimes feels like
I am abusing you with these words?

Continue reading “Love letter to my penpal”

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Contemplating Independence

When the first one was still a baby, there was a night of unexpected fireworks that frightened him awake; it was just at the start of the first Iraqi war. As I held him and tried to comfort him, I had the full knowing that there was no actual harm or concern to accompany his fear. At that thought, I felt the presence of countless other Mama’s with their children, unknown to me and far far away. This mom could feel the exact same empathy for her baby’s fear of noises too close to home, but could not offer herself nor him the comfort of its harmlessness. And that was at the expense of my and my son’s privilege. Continue reading “Contemplating Independence”

a constant, real, and broad invitation for togetherness

I want to be like one of the living goddesses I know,
Standing surely in the puddle of her own light,
For whom ‘coupling’ is an indulgence in self pleasure
Rather than a humanly attempt to create identity.

Or perhaps like an enigmatic and lively wood nymph,
Touching lightly the ground of the dappled forest floor
While dancing a blend of spirit dreams and earthly fecundity,
Making lovers of those who dare to play in her realm.

As such, I shall choose to feel alive in my own human skin,
Practice daily the slow, steady unveiling of my inner light,
Make a constant, real, and broad invitation for togetherness
With the others who also struggle to be on this path.

Sometimes the Answer is a Question

 

 

I have a story that sometimes my take on reality doesn’t align with others. Sometimes it’s just a very different memory of what words were said; sometimes it’s remembering meeting someone in one place or time, while they remember the meeting in a slightly different place or time; sometimes it is about having a completely different take on the emotional context of an interaction. I expect this is a universal experience, and I’m curious about what other folks do when they have this experience.

For me, a common strategy is to request validation or reality checking; I am trained as a scientist, and the inquiry process is important to me. When my understanding of reality is divergent with the “common” or at least an “other” view, I like to ask my partner, family, or co-observer(s) this fundamental questions:

IS THERE TRUTH TO MY OBSERVATION AND UNDERSTANDING OF THIS REALITY?

In a more simplistic way, the question is:

IS THIS TRUE?

Again, my story is that the answers I have gotten often in the past, at least the ones I am coming to realize I have most deeply internalized are three pretty cumbersome answers:

  • No, that’s not true.
  • I don’t want to talk about it
  • What the hell is wrong with you?

Now, I’m certain I’ve gotten lots and lots of other good answers, but these three stones are the ones I’ve let most deeply into my heart, and they are the ones I use to beat myself with when I am in my quietest self reflection and I ask MYSELF “Is this true?” Here is a certainty: this is not a useful conversation to have with myself. And, I love myself unconditionally, so I am ready for a broader spectrum of answers to my question.

Luckily, my life is filled with beautiful people who also like to answer and ask all sorts of questions, with whom I have discovered and have witnessed so many other answer choices. So here are some other possible answers that I like, and I love that most of them are questions. And I am enjoying the process of internalizing these, and also sharing them with you. I welcome additional contributions to this list!

So, the question is: IS THIS TRUE?

Frankly, I think this would work with any question.

And here are some PRIME CHOICE ANSWERS:

  • That is a beautiful question.
  • Yes.
  • No.
  • I don’t know.
  • I don’t know, yet.
  • What’s the evidence?
  • It is not my understanding of truth, but I believe you.
  • What does your mind believe?
  • What does your heart say?
  • How does your body feel about it?
  • What does your intuition know?
  • Is your truth coming from spirit?
  • Are you sure that is the right question?
  • What is under that question?
  • Do you know why you are asking that question?
  • What is your deepest need?
  • I have no answer, but I am curious about how can I be of service to you in your exploration of your answer?
Human Awareness
Human Awareness

The River

There is a river in Nova Scotia that waxes and wanes.
The water flows West when the tide is coming in,
and East when the tide is going out.
It is a river that breathes with the ocean, with the moon.

We find a clarity in going, in coming,
in being “on our way.”
When the river is flowing,
it knows what it is, it knows how.

But during the shift, the in-between,
the precise moment when it is not flowing West
and it is not flowing East —
Is it still a river?
It is not still.

It is nothing, everything, chaos.
The water molecules churn about in unison,
together in their indirection.
The energy of the river is not this way or that,
it is simply not,
as it longs to remember how again.

We live in that moment,
in the stillness, in the chaos,
not who we were this last moment,
not yet who we are to become.

Here, in this singularity of
nothing, everything, one.